Tips for Proposing to Her on Valentine's Day

So, you're thinking about popping the big question on Valentine's Day? Want some tips?

Well, you have the right idea. The holiday sets the right tone, so you don't have to rent a hall and start putting up banners, but you do still have to observe the basics.

Be Sure of What You're Getting Into

Valentine's proposals are great if you are pretty sure of the reception you're going to receive. If you think there's a chance that she's going to shoot you down, though, you might want to reconsider. You are running the risk of associating all of the Valentine's Days in your future with the one when the woman you wanted to spend the rest of your life with said no. It's true; you might come to think of the rejection as the best thing that ever happened to you, but why risk it?

There's More Than One Type of Commitment

And what if your question isn't about the big M, but is a step in that general direction, like living together, or traveling to meet the folks. Regardless of the big intimate step, the rules below apply, as do the suggestions. By the way, if I don't get back to it, good luck!

She May Say That She's Immune to Romance, but Don't Believe Her

Even the most subdued woman is moved by the implications of Valentine's Day. She may protest, but the little girl with the gum wrapper twisted around her finger like a wedding ring is in there somewhere. If you think the sentiment might be wasted on your no-nonsense girlfriend, think again.

Proposals Go Good With Meals

Engagement rings and declarations of undying love are a good accompaniment to a meal. I don't know why, but there it is. You might try the breakfast in bed route, or try tying the ring to the stem of a champagne glass with a piece of ribbon, whatever works for your relationship. The operative thing is that it's part of an established ritual, like a meal, and takes place in relaxed circumstances.

Decide About the Surprise

The more pomp and circumstance you put into your build up, the less of a surprise the big moment is likely to be. Rent a limo if you think that will set the stage, but don't be disappointed when she suspects that something is up.

If you want surprise, but don't quite have the constitution for a public declaration in front of witnesses, hiding one celebration inside another, effectively misdirecting her, could work for you. If there is another reason to celebrate, a promotion, birthday, long planned (by you) arrangement, use that as build-up, then spring the proposal as a surprise. That way you can include some of the trappings, like an expensive dinner, overnight trip, flowers. . . you get the idea, and still bowl her over.

Use Some Caution

Whatever you say or do, she'll remember it for years, maybe decades, so give it some thought. Some women don't mind the old: "What do you say we get married?" while others want a declaration that's a little more eloquent. I'm not suggesting Shakespeare here, just a few sentences (Hey, I know this is painful) that tell her what you are feeling.

Look at it this way: You can get some real mileage out of whatever you say. If you aren't the romantic type, this is your shining moment, and you can refer to it in the years to come as a talisman against her complaints that you aren't romantic enough. So, suck it up and make this count. You'll be doing both of you a favor.

This is the part where I'm supposed to say that whatever happens you'll be glad that you declared yourself, and romantic unions are sacred, etc. etc. etc. All that is probably true, and you'll be glad you did it . . . but maybe not as glad as you'll feel when you've gotten it over with.